


Home

by CassieQ



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Post-Episode: e049 Old Oak Doors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-13 02:06:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3363758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassieQ/pseuds/CassieQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos finally finds himself home from the desert otherworld to find things had changed while he was away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place somewhere after the events of Episode 49 A & B.

** HOME **

            His feet hurt.  They hurt.  But he kept them moving, kept walking, first over miles of endless sand, then over rough asphalt.  First approaching mountain mirages, charlatan horizons and then the familiar cityscape of a place that had first been an exciting scientific oddity of a town and was now the closest thing he had to a home.     

            His feet still hurt, but the euphoric joy of finally finding his way back home made him feel like he was floating as he approached the city streets.  His steps faltered slightly as he noticed differences, subtle changes in the layout, a shifting of familiar landmarks.  But Night Vale was a town that was constantly shifting, constantly changing in response to it's unusual location in space and time and he has been gone...what? A few weeks, maybe a month or so?

            His hand went up to his face, where he had a bit of a scruffy beard forming along his jaw and chin.  He had tried his best to keep his hair tamed, but the desert heat and the rough conditions left it an unmanageable rat's nest on his head. He knew he looked (and probably smelled) deplorable, but he didn't bother detouring to his lab prior to seeing Cecil. 

            Cecil.  He missed Cecil.  They had talked several times on his cell during the first few days in the desert wasteland before his phone had started having trouble.  It failed picking up signals, calls were dropped.  Eventually, when a call would go through to Cecil's number, it would only produce overwhelming bursts of static or the drone of a busy signal. He hoped Cecil hadn't been too worried about the lack of communication. 

            His heart leapt as he saw their house, lights on inside, making it look cozy and inviting.  His eyes drifted over the unfamiliar vehicle parked in the driveway...had Cecil gotten a new truck...? and bounded up the stairs. His heart was pounding and he wiped his sweaty palms on his stiff, dust stained jeans before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door.

            There were footsteps on the other side and then the door was open and Cecil was there.  He, like the town, looked a little different.  His hair was styled differently than usual, the frames of his glasses were new, and the lines of his face were a little more defined than what Carlos remembered, but he hardly noticed.

            What he did notice was Cecil's reaction upon seeing him.  He had expected tears, possibly, or disbelief, or exuberant excitement.  What he didn't expect was the way the blood drained from Cecil's face, leaving him pale and washed out, or the way Cecil took a weary step _back_ from him.  His eyes widened, and seemed all the more bright and luminous against the paleness of his face. 

            "Cecil, baby?  It's me," Carlos said.  He wanted to touch Cecil so bad it was a physical ache, wanted to wrap him in his arms and feel him against his body, to breathe him in and _hold_ him, God he wanted to hold him so badly, but Cecil looked so confused and panic-stricken that Carlos held back, and tried to keep his voice as calm and soothing as he possibly could. 

            Cecil put a hand over his mouth, the other one clutching at the doorframe and shook his head mutely.  His eyes shone, then tears were slipping over his lashes and trickling down his cheeks.

            "Cecil-" Carlos took another step forward. Cecil didn't just step, but _stumbled_ back and bumped into someone who was approaching the doorway.

            "Babe, who is--"

            Carlos' gaze shifted to the newcomer. He recognized him, having seen him around town on several occasions, usually trailed by children, like a duck with ducklings. The last time Carlos had seen him, he had been struggling, dragged away by mute children into an endless chasm of nothingness. 

            Earl Harlan blinked at him, a similar spark of recognition lighting up his eyes.  He glanced at Cecil, then at Carlos and something else flickered across his face...resignation? disappointment?...before hardening. The other man gave him a stiff nod.

            "Carlos."

            Cecil looked from Earl to Carlos and back to Earl before his eyes rolled up in his head and he collapsed bonelessly. Carlos sprang forward but Earl had already caught him underneath the arms.  Carlos lifted his feet and helped carry the man further into the house-- _their house_ , Carlos reminded himself--and propped his feet up on an unfamiliar couch as Earl gently deposited him on the floor. 

            Carlos watched as Earl bent over Cecil, checking his breathing and pulse.

            "Is he okay?" Carlos asked, trying to ignore the hot hard knot forming in his chest.     

            "I think so."  Earl knelt down next to Cecil, ruffling his hair with a mix of exasperation and affection.  "Probably just overwhelmed from seeing you back. And he probably hasn't eaten enough today either.  Still..." The former Scoutmaster turned to an open window.  "Hey Otis?  Can we get EMT over here just in case?"

            "Sure thing," came a muffled reply from outside. 

            Carlos was staring as several things caught his attention.  Earl was in his house. Carlos didn't recognize most of the furniture.  Earl knew their SSP agent.  Earl also looked and acted like he was way to familiar with Carlos' boyfriend for Carlos' liking.

            "Well, thank you, but I can take things from here," Carlos finally said, forcing his voice to remain steady and stern.  After several weeks in thin desert air, it came out weaker than he would have liked.

            Earl regarded him for a moment, then that look, that hardness returned to his eyes, turned his face into a collection of planes and angles.  "No, I don't think so."

            Carlos gestured to Cecil.  "This is my boyfriend.  My house."

            "You're wrong."  Earl sat back on his heels.  "Listen, Mr. Scientist." 

            Carlos scowled.  He was used to Cecil calling him that sometimes, to tease him and some of the townsfolk even called him that was well, with friendly affection. Earl's tone was cold, almost sarcastic.

            "I don't know why you thought Cecil would just wait around for you to come wandering back from wherever you decided to waltz away to for all these years, but he didn't.  Things are different now.  This is not your house anymore.  It's ours. Cecil is not your boyfriend. He's my husband and I am going to be the one taking care of him."

            Carlos felt like someone had punched him in the gut.

            _Husband. Husband.  Husband._

His eyes automatically went to Earl's left hand, saw the slim band encircling his finger.  He could see Cecil's hand from his current vantage point; there was a matching band on his as well. 

            "Go back to where you came from, scientist," Earl practically spat the word out.  "Cecil will be fine.  I'm here to take care of him."

            "The hell you are," Carlos retorted, advancing on him.  Earl rose to his feet. The former Scoutmaster was taller than he was and there was a promise of strength underneath his fluid movements. Carlos had no intention of backing down. This was _his_ house, _his_ boyfriend, _his_ life and he was not going to let some old flame of Cecil's steal it away just because he had taken a couple weeks to do some science in the desert.      

            "Get out," Earl said, with soft, measured tones.  Carlos saw the way he moved, placing himself in between him and Cecil.  It was a protective gesture, one that made the hard knot in his chest flare hot.  Earl was protecting Cecil.  From him.

            Carlos was hardly aware of moving until his fist met the hard ridge of Earl's jaw.  Earl recoiled slightly from the impact, but Carlos had a suspicion that the blow probably hurt his hand more than it did Earl.  As it was, Earl didn't even stumble or step back.

            But he did hit Carlos back. Carlos wasn't a weakling, but he was feeling the effects of dehydration, exhaustion and hunger, enough so that the resulting strike sent him reeling.  He staggered and almost fell, as a deep pain bloomed from the point of impact and radiated across his face in aching rays.  He found his balance before he fell and set his stance, pulled back for another punch even though he knew he was outmatched.  Before he could follow through, a strong hand closed around his arm. 

           Carlos, startled, glanced over to see a balaclava-clad figure standing by. Carlos was still tempted to try another swing and tried to shake him off, only to feel the grip on his arm tighten around the same time a long sweep of exhaustion and vertigo passed over him. He let the SSP officer guide him over to the front door.

            "Charges, Mr. Palmer-Harlan?" the officer asked.

            Earl was bent back over his husband, rechecking his pulse.  "No, just make sure he is out of the way by the time rescue squad gets here."

           The officer kept hold of Carlos until he was safely out on the street.  Carlos yanked free.  "Thanks for nothing," he snarled.

           "Welcome back Dr. Mendoza," the SSP officer said politely.  "Do you require accommodations for the night?"

           Carlos just glared at the figure, glanced back at his house--- _his fucking house!_ \---then turned away and stalked down the street. 

 

            He was only slightly disappointed to find that his keycard didn't open up the lab doors for him.  He pressed a finger against the intercom button instead.

            "Hello?"  A staticky female voice came over the line. Carlos sighed with relief. Even with the distortion from what was now an antiquated system damaged by relentless dust storms, he could recognize Rachelle's voice instantly.

            "Rachelle, can you let me up? It's Carlos."

            There was a long pause.

            "Who?"

            "Carlos."

            There was another lengthy pause and Carlos was about to give up and see if he could find another place to regroup--maybe the Moonlight All Night Diner was still around--but then the door buzzed and swung open. He had barely stepped inside when he heard a clatter of heels in the hallway and Rachelle appeared.

            The changes in her were the most noticeable. She had a new short haircut, a flashy pair of earrings and wore a skirt with high heels.  She looked nothing like his old scientist friend and if it weren't for the lab coat she wore with her badge on it, he might have thought he had the wrong person.

            "Oh my God," she whispered. "Carlos!"

            She stepped forward and hugged him. He returned the embrace gratefully and felt an unexpected surge of tears when he realized this was the kind of reaction he had hoped to get from Cecil.  She stepped back and cupped his face in her hands, beaming at him. With her, too, he could see that she had aged. There were streaks of gray in her hair as well, a network of fine lines starting to fan out from her eyes and increased softness in her generous curves.  He gripped her wrists as she drew her hands away.

            "What's going on here Rachelle?" he asked. His mind was awash with confusion, but he was already putting some pieces together and coming up with some very unsettling conclusions.

            "After you disappeared, oh God Carlos, we all thought you were dead!"  Rachelle said. 

            "Dead?  How--How long was I gone?"

            "Years, Carlos, years."

            "How many?" he ground out. He struggled to keep his hands from tightening around her wrists, from shaking her in frustration as his panicked mind began to claw the inside of his skull for answers.

            "Seven or eight, I think."

            Carlos released his grip on her hands, feeling his stomach drop.  He figured that he had been gone far longer than the four weeks he had counted, but not...

            "Carlos?"  Rachelle's voice sounded like it was coming from far away. He found himself sitting down hard on a lab bench and Rachelle pushing on his shoulders, lowering his head down between his knees. 

            "Breathe, Carlos, breathe," Rachelle said. Carlos did as she asked, drawing in deep breathes, closing his eyes and clenching his fists to try and center himself. He listened to the sound of Rachelle's heels clicking against the linoleum as she bustled back and forth. A few minutes later, he opened his eyes and sat up.  Rachelle pressed a glass of juice into his hand and he took a sip. 

            "Thanks," he said.

            "Do you remember the last time you ate or drank anything?"

            Carlos shook his head.

            "I called Dana and told her that we would eat at home tonight and to set an extra place at the table."

            "I don't want to intrude-"

            "You're not intruding. You need something to eat and I'm sure as hell not leaving you alone right now."  She knelt down next to him and pressed a wet cloth against his chin.  "What happened to your face?"

            "Earl happened."

            Rachelle cursed softly.  "You would have gone there first, of course. Sorry Carlos. Come with me, you need some food and I have a ton of questions."

            At a loss, Carlos followed Rachelle out of the lab.

            "I was staying late to get some experiments done, but I don't think Dana will mind me showing up to help with dinner," Rachelle said as she locked up the lab.  She glanced at Carlos.  "I better drive.  How are you feeling?"

            "Fine," Carlos said. Thankfully, he meant it. His mind was just a pleasant white blank at the moment.  It stayed that way as Rachelle drove through the streets of the town he used to know.

            "I finally convinced Dana to move out of the apartment a few years ago and invest in a real house," Rachelle said as she pulled up to a small bungalow. 

            "It's nice," Carlos said as he followed her to the front door. 

            "Dana?"  Rachelle called as she shut the door behind him. "I brought a guest for dinner."

            Carlos glanced around the living room, which was a cozy collection of comfortable looking sofas and chairs clustered around a television; the walls lined with municipally approved books.      

            "Who is it?"

            Carlos turned at the sound of Dana's voice and couldn't keep the surprise off of his face.  Dana didn't look terribly different from the way he had last seen her, perennially youthful and pretty.  But even the billowy dress she was wearing didn't hide the fact that she was very much pregnant. 

            "It's rude to stare Carlos," Dana finally said and Carlos blushed, and averted his eyes from the bulge under her dress. She walked over and pushed herself up on her toes to kiss him on the forehead.  "Welcome home."

            "Thank you."   

            Rachelle spread her hands. "No kiss for your wife?" she asked with mock indignation. 

            Dana rolled her eyes and gave Rachelle a kiss. "Come on Carlos," she said over her shoulder as she walked back into the kitchen.  "You look like you are about to fall over."

            "How can I help?" Carlos asked, suddenly aware of how filthy he was in the spotless kitchen.

            "You can help by sitting down and resting," Dana said.  "Did you just get back into town?"

            "Yeah," Carlos said, sitting down. "Uh...when are you due?"

            "Next month," Rachelle said. "And you _should_ be resting too."

            "I left the office early," Dana said.

            "Doesn't count if you went in early."

            "Stop mother henning and set the table," Dana retorted.  Rachelle set out plates, glassware and cutlery, then pestered Dana until the other woman gave up with a sigh and went to sit at the table with Carlos.

            "Bring over some of that guacamole you made the other night then," Dana requested as she lifted her legs onto another chair and leaned back with a little sigh.  "Try it Carlos, Rachelle is a genius in the kitchen. Must be all that science."

            Rachelle set a small bowl of guacamole out with some corn chips.

            "Is the ban against wheat and wheat by-products still in effect?"  Carlos asked.   

            "As far as we know," Rachelle answered, turning back to the oven.  "We retest every few years, but everyone has gotten so used to it that's it not really much of an issue anymore."

            "Rachelle came up with a lot of wheat-free recipes and then local restaurants found out about them and started using them as well and it spread all over town," Dana said proudly.

            Carlos took a corn chip and sampled the guacamole. It was delicious and the small taste woke up his dormant appetite.  He had cleared the plate almost before realizing it.  Dana poured him another glass of water, which he accepted gratefully.

            "So, do you know the sex?" he asked, nodding to Dana's stomach.

            "Well, all the diviners at Night Vale General seem to think I'm carrying twins...one boy and one girl," Dana said. She patted her stomach. "Sure feels like I am."

            Rachelle set dishes down on the table and loaded up Carlos' plate with chicken, mashed sweet potatoes and zucchini with quinoa stuffing.  Carlos ate until he began to feel sick, after he had put away two helpings and had downed several more glasses of water.           

            Rachelle refilled his and Dana's glass after she had cleared the plates away and Dana regarded him curiously. "Carlos.  How old are you?"  

            "35."

            "And how old were you when you came to Night Vale?"

            "33."

            "I was 22 when I became mayor of Night Vale. I'm 30 years old now," Dana interjected.  "Rachelle?"

            "I came to Night Vale the same time you did Carlos.  I was 36. I'm 44 now."

            _If Cecil aged the same way they did, he would be 34 by now,_ Carlos realized.

            Rachelle reached out and gently touched Carlos' chin.  "You don't look like you've aged at all.  It's incredible."

            "I haven't been gone eight years," Carlos said.  "I know that time works differently in Night Vale, but I was _not_ gone eight years.  I was gone a few weeks, maybe a month, tops.  That's all."

            "I believe you," Rachelle said. "There must have been some kind of temporal divergence in this other world.  Speaking of which, Carlos, I was hoping to get some samples?"

            Carlos glanced at her.  "Back to the lab?"

            Rachelle shook her head.  "No, no, I can get them here."           

            Carlos turned the glass he was drinking from in his hands.

            "First, I want to be filled in on some of the things that have happened while I was gone."

            "Sure."  Rachelle leaned forward a little, resting her elbows on the table. "What do you want to know?"

            "Everything."

            Rachelle smiled.  "That's a large subject area.  Can you narrow it down?"

            "Cecil."

            Rachelle sat back and exchanged a glance with her wife. "Dana could probably tell you more."

            Dana shifted in her chair and turned her attention to Carlos.

            "It was hard on him Carlos, losing you. He would talk about you a lot, about the calls and pictures and texts he got from you and..." Dana lifted her hands and shook her head.  "Then the calls stopped coming.  We didn't know why. Cecil was falling apart. He held himself together on the radio, but he had started drinking to forget, like a lot.  Wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping..." Dana shook her head. "Josie and I tried to help, but she has the Erikas and I had my job as the mayor and Rachelle had to take care of the lab and your team..." her voice trailed off. "And nothing helped," she finally continued after a long pause.  "Nothing was going to help except for you coming home." Dana's dark hand crept across the table and found Rachelle's.  "Earl had come back around the same time you had left.  He was a friend of Cecil's from childhood. They had dated a little bit, but it was a casual thing, never went anywhere.  And then Earl was taken by the mute children-"

            "At the Eternal Scout ceremony, I remember," Carlos interrupted.  That was shortly before he and Cecil started dating.      

            "But he returned, after you were gone, and he and Cecil started spending a lot of time together.  And slowly, Cecil started to get better.  Earl works at a restaurant now, so he would bring Cecil food, making sure he was eating and would keep him from drinking too much. Eventually, they started dating."

            "When-When did they-"

            "They got married two years ago," Rachelle told him, her voice gentle.  "We all thought you were dead, Carlos, all of us.  Cecil held out the longest, but after five years or so, he had to...he needed closure.  He needed to move on."

            "I understand," Carlos said, gripping his glass so tightly his knuckles were turning white.  He took a deep breath in through his nose, let it out slowly. "What about the team?"

            Rachelle brightened visibly. "It's good. We have a steady source of funding now so we were able to take on more scientists for specific specialties and we took on more grad students."

            "How is Dave?  Daytona?  And Santiago?"

            "Santiago is good.  He and Bianca got married a few years ago. Daytona graduated and set up a volunteer program at the Night Vale Zoo."

            "Dave?"  Carlos prompted.  Next to Cecil, Rachelle and Dana, Dave was one the people he was most looking forward to reuniting with.

            Rachelle wouldn't meet his eyes. "Dave is gone. He...he died."

            Carlos closed his eyes.  Disappointment flooded over him, stronger than he expected. He had known Dave for years, almost as long as he had known Rachelle.  They had been graduate school buddies, and he had been part of the original Night Vale team.

            "How?"

            Rachelle still wouldn’t look at him.

            "He went spelunking in some caves that he theorized might lead into Hidden Gorge," Dana finally said. "He was attacked by...something."

            "Something," Carlos repeated flatly.

            Dana nodded and glanced at Rachelle meaningfully before speaking again.  "Rachelle, sweetheart, why don't you get Carlos settled down for tonight? I'll get some of my brother's things, they should fit you Carlos." 

         Rachelle nodded.  "Come on. I have a futon set up in the basement, you can stay there for as long as you need.  Your room above the lab has been packed up and it's mostly used for storage, but we'll work on getting it cleared back out for you right away."

            Carlos followed her down the stairs.

            "We used to have a guest room, but it's being set up as a nursery for the baby right now," she explained, unlocking the basement.

            "I didn't know you wanted children," Carlos said.

            Rachelle shrugged.  "I didn't, when I was single.  But with Dana...it was something she wanted and now that we're somewhat settled down, it sounded like a good idea." She flicked the lights on. "She didn't want me to carry our baby, with the type of work I do.  Not that hers is much safer."

            Carlos glanced around.  There was a smaller, compressed version of her own lab space in one corner of the basement, along with a washer, dryer and a futon near a small bathroom, with shelves attached to the wall. 

            "Do you work down here a lot?" he asked.

            "Not really.  I sleep down here, sometimes, if I get caught late at work. Dana doesn't sleep well and I don't want to risk waking her up if I come in after she's gone to bed." She turned to look at him. "Can I-"

            "Yeah, sure."

            He knew Rachelle too much to be embarrassed as she gathered samples, collecting dirt from under his fingernails, saliva, navel dust and strands of hair.       

            "Do you have any theories?" she asked.

            "A couple," Carlos replied, and involuntarily let out a jaw-cracking yawn.  Rachelle put her sample trays away.  "Get some rest, Carlos, you're exhausted."

            Dana came in a few seconds later with a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt in her hands.  "They might be a bit small," Dana said apologetically.

            "Thank you Dana," he said, taking them from her. "I appreciate everything you have done for me."

            She gave him a small surprised smile. "You're welcome Carlos. You're our family."

            Rachelle nodded.  "We're glad you're back.  We'll be right upstairs if you need anything. Please make yourself at home."

            Carlos felt filthy and in need of shower, but settled for washing his hands and face and brushing his teeth before changing into his borrowed clothes and collapsing on the futon. 


	2. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos tries to move on. Life does not make it easy for him.

            Carlos felt sore and fuzzy-headed when Rachelle gently shook him awake at one p.m. the next day.

            "I wanted to come home for lunch and talk to you a bit," Rachelle said.  "Why don't you catch a shower and I'll get us something to eat."

            "Sounds good," Carlos said, forcing a smile.  The careful barrier of empty, emotionless observation he had built up the previous day had slipped away in the chaotic confusion of dreams, waking up in an unfamiliar place and he could feel his smile strain a bit around the edges. 

            The shower, turned up as hot as he could stand it, helped.  He focused on that: the bite of water hitting his skin, the steam thickening the air around him, the chore of scrubbing several...weeks, months, years...? of accumulated grime off his skin and out of his hair. 

            When he turned off the water, he realized that he was shaking and shivering.  He pressed his hands against his face, then slicked them back over his wet hair.

            _Pull it together Mendoza,_ he told himself sternly, stepping out of the shower. _Talk to Rachelle; figure out what is going on.  Focus on the science._ It was something he had told himself several times when trying to make sense of Night Vale.  Focus on the science. Science.  Not on the radio host with the hypnotic voice.

            Carlos' stomach lurched and he gripped the edge of the sink, staring down at the slick white porcelain until the feeling passed.

            "No, definitely don't think about that," he mumbled aloud.  When he exited the room, he found a surprise waiting for him on the futon, a set of clothing that looked vaguely familiar.  He pulled on jeans and the T-shirt, running his fingers over the burn mark on the hem from a college chemistry mishap.  It wasn't a lab coat, but he felt a little better wearing some of his own clothes. A slim comfort to cling to.

            Rachelle had a warm bowl of mac and cheese waiting for him when he got upstairs.  He noticed that she was back in what he thought of as her "regular" lab clothes, khakis and a long sleeved shirt with closed toed, sensible shoes. It was another comfort.

            "Dana is at the office," Rachelle informed him.  "I went into the lab and I ran some tests based on the samples we took last night."

            "Any results?"  Carlos asked, before attacking the mac and cheese with gusto as his stomach grumbled in anticipation.  After surviving in a desert underworld where he needed little sleep or food, his appetite seemed to want to be making up for lost time.

            "Well, the tests I ran on your saliva confirmed the fact that you have not aged as the rest of us have. Which opens up a lot of possibilities. I also ran the samples of the dirt that I took from you.  Some of it contains recognizable compounds, but some of it is not, and that will take longer to test and analyze.  The more we can find out about this other world, the more we can figure out what the connection to Night Vale is."       

            "I would like to talk to Dana about it," Carlos decided.

            Rachelle raised an eyebrow. "Theory?"

            "Partial," Carlos said.

            "Tell me about it."

            "It's all about time. Time in Night Vale is actually slower than it is in other parts of the world.  We all know that time works differently in the desert otherworld and that there are time fluctuations at different portal sites within Night Vale, like the subway system.  Cecil went in it and experienced years, but only minutes had passed here.  The desert otherworld is like that, but reversed."

            Rachelle nodded.  "Makes sense so far."

            "Night Vale sense, right?" Carlos said, smiling slightly at their old joke.  "But I was gone from Night Vale for close to eight years and I didn't age, and neither did the giant masked army, from what I could see of them. So I was wondering if I wandered into a time loop."

            "A time loop?" Rachelle sat down next to him at the table.

            "When Dana was trapped in the desert otherworld, she didn't stop aging or age at an abnormal rate, and she was trapped in the desert for...what?"

            "Ten months or so."

            "So longer than I was, and while we were still in Night Vale, we didn't experience accelerated aging compared to Dana. So I don't think it is likely that the desert otherworld operates at a different time continuum."

            "Good point." Rachelle nodded.        

            "But while she was gone, Cecil mentioned a geographical loop, where Dana kept walking away from the Mountain with the Blinking Light but would eventually find herself approaching it anyway. No matter where she walked, she would keep on approaching it."

            "So you think you walked into a temporal loop. Where the same period of time just repeated itself over and over," Rachelle clarified.

            "There was some point where I got separated from the giant masked army, and I think that might have been when I stumbled onto it.  A time loop would keep me in the same period of time repeating the same time period over and over while time passed normally outside the loop.  It would explain how much time has passed here and would explain why I don't recall so much time passing."

            "Do you remember how you got separated from the rest of the group?"

            "There was another one of those rumblings. It was a big one and..." Carlos shook his head. "I'm still not sure. I think...there was something..."

            "Carlos, you're shaking." Rachelle reached out for his shoulder and looked startled when he flinched away.  "You're sweating.  Are you okay?"

            "Yeah." Carlos grabbed a napkin and pressed it against his forehead.  "I just--uh--"

            "Relax.  We don't have to talk about it yet.  I think it's a good theory.  It makes sense. I'll have Dana get in touch with you about the geographical loop and see if her experience was similar to yours."

            "Thanks Rachelle." Carlos smiled at her. "I missed you. I hardly recognized you last night."

            Rachelle smiled back.  "I missed you too Carlos.  We all did.  And don't worry, I was only dressed that way last night because I had a meeting with our sponsors."  She stood and began to clear off the table.  "I spent most of the morning trying to clear out the upstairs apartment above the lab, but there is still some stuff to sort through.  We can go do that and I can introduce you to the rest of the team later, if you need a few more days to get acclimated."

 

 

            Carlos felt like he would need more than a few days. He had gone up to help Rachelle finish clearing out the upstairs apartment, because as much as he wanted to return to the comfort of science, he wanted privacy and space more. Seeing Rachelle and Dana settled into comfortable domesticity together made him ache for what he used to have.

            Despite the lab still being mostly empty when he entered after lunch, there were still a handful of individuals, mostly graduate students according to Rachelle, bent over beakers and microscopes. They only got a few curious looks as they passed, but as they disappeared up the stairs and remained there, whispers and murmured speculations started, and then increased as other scientists filed in for the afternoon.  At some point, the noise level increased to the point where Rachelle left briefly to shout something about unproductive scientists and Desert Bluffs.

            Carlos hardly noticed, involved in his work between sorting what should stay and what would need to be stored elsewhere. It was surreal and nostalgic, going through things that hadn't yet lost their familiarity, covered with a heavy layer of dust and smelling of age.  It took two days to clear out the old apartment and set it back to rights. To Carlos, it felt cold and lonely against the warm memories of sharing his house and his life and his body with his boyfriend.  He kept busy, making the bed with freshly laundered sheets, dusting off the layers of accumulation on the few pieces of furniture and restocking the tiny fridge.

            "It's almost exactly as you left it," Rachelle noticed, wiping a sweaty strand of hair away from her face that evening.

            "Well, we didn't take much from here when I moved out, remember?" Carlos said. 

            "Yeah, you wanted to keep it in case one of the team had to work late and needed a place to sleep," Rachelle recalled, tactfully choosing not to point out that no-one in the lab kept the same type of obsessive hours Carlos used to.   

            Carlos thanked her for her help and politely declined the invitation for dinner.  He knew how hard Rachelle and Dana both worked and didn't want to intrude on their personal time anymore than he already did.  It didn't stop him from feeling lonely and more of an outsider in his old home than he could ever remember feeling.  When he first came here, he at least had the other scientists in his research team to share the space, to rely on each other through the discoveries both mysterious, fascinating and defying logic at every turn.  He was a stranger, yes, but so were they. They had all been moving forward with their lives when Carlos disappeared and now he was back at square one and alone. He wandered through the apartment aimlessly, but every space of it held some sort of memory.  The bed that he had shared with Cecil on more than one occasion, with the leggy radio host often trying to coax Carlos back to bed when he got up for a jog or some early morning experiment.  The dresser that had once been cluttered with a mix of both their accessories, keys and phones.  He couldn’t even look at the coffee maker without remembering several mornings where Cecil would stumble into the kitchen, half dressed and bleary eyed, to pour himself a cup.

            He walked to the refrigerator, opened it, looked at the contents without seeing them, and shut it again. He walked back into his bedroom, looked at the bed.            

            _"Carlooos!"  
            Only Cecil's voice had the ability to turn his name into a long lascivious moan.  Cecil gripped his pillow with his free hand, the other wrapped in Carlos' hair as he arched against him. Carlos was lost, engulfed by the taste of salt on Cecil's skin, the feel of his body underneath him and the unbearably sexy sound of Cecil's voice as he came undone. _

            The memory hit him like a physical blow, cramping his stomach and burning in his chest.  He blindly turned away from it and stumbled out of the apartment.

            He found himself retreating to the lab. It looked different than he remembered. Smaller, somehow. Or maybe that was due to the increased number of lab benches and equipment filling up the space. He walked through it, his eyes taking in new equipment, new machines that he would have to learn.

            There was still a light over one of the benches on the far side of the room, near the wall and as he drew closer he saw a single individual, bent over a microscope and fiddling with the knobs. A long tail of dark hair hung down the back of their lab coat, but that was all he could really see from his vantage point.

            "Hello?" he called.

            The figure started a little, taken aback and their elbow bumped a rack of test tubes, which rattled alarmingly. A girl, her dark eyes magnified by the thick lenses of her glasses, looked up at him as she carefully moved the rack further into the center of the table.

            "Sorry," Carlos said, shifting back a little.  "I didn’t mean to startle you."

            "No, it's fine," the girl said, glancing back at the test tubes, the microscope, then at him again.    

            "What are you working on?"

            "Analyzing a substance that we collected off a meteor that crashed out in the Sand Wastes a few days ago. It's organic, but aside from that, we don't know."  She pushed a molecular diagram in his direction and Carlos picked it up and studied it, puzzled. He didn't recognize it, either from his previous university work or one of the many odd substances that he had studied in Night Vale.  He finally felt something stir inside him, something that had been missing since he came back, to a world that had moved on without him, a flutter of curiosity that had been sitting dormant since he got back.  Science, his first love, ever faithful, ready to welcome him back with open arms.

            "Can I take a look?"  

 

 

            Carlos stayed in the lab long after the girl (Koharu, one of the graduate students) went home, exploring new computer programs and lab equipment.  Someone had figured out a program to translate unmodified Sumerian and someone else was doing extensive study of the earthquakes that had been occurring with alarming frequency and ferocity, in blatant defiance of the Night Vale Seismological Society. Carlos remembered the rumblings in the desert otherworld, the way sand and rocks would shift and rattle underneath his unsteady feet, before the ground would heave and undulate underneath him. The rumbling would grow louder and louder, echoing in his ears until it sounded more like a growl, a snarl mixing with the thick, wet sound of something _breathing..._

_Don't think about that Carlos, for the love of God, don't._

            From the student he learned that Dave had perished while spelunking near Hidden Gorge, like Dana had said. Rachelle was the one who went looking for him when he didn't return and found the gruesome remains after he had been ravaged by some sort of creature, still unknown, that had made that particular section of the gorge its home.

            "She still can't talk about it," Koharu had mentioned, apparently oblivious to Carlos' dismay at hearing the details of his colleague's tragic end.  "There was a rumor that went around that she was voluntarily re-educated, but it was never confirmed."  

            Scientists came and went or occasionally died or disappeared, but Carlos had always felt closest to the surviving members of his original "group" involving Rachelle, Dave, Santiago and Bianca.  When they first were getting set up in Night Vale, Dave was the one who had originally suggested that Carlos talk to Cecil, to gather information and send messages out to the citizens through the radio.  He had been the only one that Carlos would talk to about Cecil.  Santiago and Bianca had been amused by Cecil's flattery, too amused in Carlos' opinion, and would tease him mercilessly if anyone brought it up. Rachelle, while never showing any open animosity towards Cecil had disliked him from the start, more offended about his overblown admiration on the radio than Carlos had been.

            "You're a professional, Carlos!" she had hissed.  "And he is gushing about you on the radio like a lovesick teenager.  How is anyone going to take you seriously with all that?"   

            Then Dana had gotten trapped in the Dog Park during Poetry Week and any warm feelings Rachelle might have had towards Cecil turned into a deep freeze.

            Dave would have been nice to talk to, Carlos reflected, finally giving in to his exhausted body and trudging back upstairs to his apartment.  The quiet seemed to press in on him, amplified by the loneliness he still felt inside like a gaping wound.  He had lost Cecil.  Lost Dave.  His friends, his colleagues, the ones that he had turned to back when things had been new and scary and Cecil had just been an eerie voice behind a microphone. They had grown up and moved on. They weren't the same people they were when he left.  He lived in his old place, above a lab full of unfamiliar scientists and equipment, being run by someone else.  He had escaped an endless desert landscape to return to a life that wasn't his anymore and a home that no longer fit. 

            _Maybe you should have stayed in the desert._ Cecil's voice taunted him, his phantom image lounging on the bed like it had earlier.  _Since it was so scientifically interesting and all._

"I'm a scientist," Carlos said to the empty room. "Cecil knows that. He understood."

            _Sure he did.  He understood well enough to wind up in someone else's bed._

"Shut up."  Carlos pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes until the color behind them bled red.  "Just shut the fuck up."

            When he opened them again, Cecil was gone.

           

            He slept fitfully that night, hearing echoes of Cecil’s voice inside his head and feeling phantom touches on his skin, no matter how deeply he burrowed himself into his cocoon of sheets.  When he roused himself up too few hours later, he fished his phone out of the sheets and made a call.

            "Hello, Mayor Cardinal please?"

            He waited until Dana's voice came over the line. 

            "I need to see him."   

 * * *

            Carlos didn't like being the center of attention. He often found himself in position of spokesperson, mostly due to his expertise and his ability to face a large crowd without floundering or stuttering, but he didn't like it.   He had been equal parts embarrassed and confused by Cecil's blatant flattery on the radio, but aside from the occasional teasing from his team, he had been able to mostly ignore it once inside the comfort of his lab.

            Now, he found himself the primary subject of speculation in a lab full of strangers that he was currently residing in. Carlos was going through old case files, separating those that had been closed while he was gone and those that were still ongoing or unresolved (which were most of them). He didn't know what kind of stories Rachelle had told about him, but it was hard to focus on the work he was doing when he kept seeing curious lab students craning their necks to look at him and hearing the furtive whispers that they thought he couldn't hear.

            He tried to ignore most of it until a nervous student approached him and gave him an overly wide, anxious smile.

            "Visitor for Dr. Mendoza."

            Carlos removed his goggles and pulled off his gloves, depositing them in the waste bin on his way to the door. Dana was waiting there for him and Carlos felt his pulse race slightly.

            "He's at the house," Dana said simply, and Carlos followed her through the streets until he approached the same small bungalow from the night he had returned.  Dana gave his hand an encouraging squeeze and turned, walking down the street towards City Hall. 

            Carlos took another deep breath and opened the door. Cecil, who by the looks of it had been pacing the floor, stopped in his tracks and stared at him.

            Their eyes met in a moment that seemed to stretch on and unravel for forever.     

            "Carlos," Cecil breathed. Carlos wasn't sure which of them moved first, but the next thing he knew was that his arms were full of the radio host, pulling him as close to his body as possible.  He was almost afraid that he would disappear, slip through his embrace like sand through his fingers.  He buried his face against Cecil's neck, feeling the pulse drumming under his lips and breathing in the smell of his skin and hair.  He could feel Cecil's body trembling against him, felt Cecil’s fingers grip his shoulder and hair. 

            He held Cecil until he felt Cecil's grip relax. Carlos allowed Cecil to draw back and frame his face with his hands.  "Carlos.  My God, Carlos."

            His eyes were shining and he looked so happy. It was everything that Carlos had wanted when he had come home several nights earlier.  So he did what he wanted to do just then, and kissed him. There was no hesitation before Cecil was kissing him back.

            Gods, Cecil felt so good, here in his arms, mouth opening under his.  Cecil might look different, but he tasted exactly the same, bitter black coffee and acrid ozone from his microphone overlaid with the sweet flavors of candy and sugar.

           He had missed this, dreamed of this, during long lonely hours in the desert, and nothing came close to the feel of having Cecil in his arms again, his mouth against his.  He wrapped an arm around Cecil's waist, pulling him in and up against him and felt warm, strong arms wrap around his neck.  It was the hardest thing in his life to disengage when he felt Cecil pull back to break the kiss.

            Cecil was flushed and breathing heavily, his lips slightly swollen and wet and Carlos found himself physically resisting the urge to step forward and invade his space again, to grab him and back him up against the wall or wrestle him to the couch or the floor. Instead he steeled himself and took a very deliberate step back, letting an abyss of empty space create a safe barrier.  He felt dizzy and unsteady, the surrealism of the present, unfamiliar, strange and vaguely threatening colliding with the aching familiar taste of Cecil, the feel of him when he had him in his arms.  It shook the foundations of his current reality and for a minute Carlos wasn’t sure where he was--in the present, the past, or someone's future dream.

            He focused on Cecil to steady himself, taking in the changes.  He was thinner than what Carlos remembered, traces of gray in his hair.  He was showing the faintest suggestion of crow's feet, with deeper lines bracketing his mouth and creasing his forehead.  He had traded his usual glasses, the thick rimmed ones that Carlos would occasionally tease him about for a small, wire-rimmed pair.

           "Oh Carlos," Cecil breathed, his voice touched with awe. "You look amazing. Just like the day you left. Dana told me, but..." He stepped forward and touched Carlos' face again.  Carlos leaned into the touch slightly and Cecil's hands slid down to cup his neck.  Carlos lifted his hands to place them over Cecil's, leaning his head forward.  The touch of Cecil's hands was cool and soothing, calming.

               "Carlos, my beautiful, wonderful, amazing Carlos," Cecil whispered, his voice catching and close to breaking.  "I thought I would never see you again.  Is this real?  Am I dreaming?"

            "I don't know," Carlos told him, closing his eyes and just focusing on the touch of Cecil on his skin. "I don't know what is real anymore either."

* * *

            "And you still don't know why you haven't grown older like everyone else has," Cecil repeated.

            Carlos shook his head.  "No.  Just theories, but no definitive answers."

            They were on Dana and Rachelle's sofa, both sitting with their legs curled up, facing each other.  Another intimately familiar situation that now felt out of place.

            Cecil glanced down to where his fingers were hooked around Carlos', like he was afraid the other man would disappear if he wasn't touching him.  "I missed you."

            "I know.  I missed you too.  God, so much." Carlos glanced down to their joined hands, swallowed hard.  A tight band was forming inside his chest.  "I never should have gone inside that damn house."

            "Carlos, you are a scientist. Exploring is what you do. And you are a hero. You saved our town. You saved all of us."

            "I hurt you.  I know you missed me.  Staying away so long--" Carlos said. 

            "You didn't know--"

            Carlos shook his head.  "No.  I-I should have tried harder, started to try and find away back to you instead of being so fucking focused on science."

            Cecil was silent for a moment. He looked up at Carlos, and smiled slightly as he reached up and touched the fading bruise on his chin.

            "I'm sorry about that. Earl sends his apologies too, he over-reacted."

            Carlos thought that if someone who he thought was dead came back to town and tried to take Cecil away from him, he might have punched them too, but didn't say that.

            "It's not that bad," he said, prodding at it.  It was tender, but not as sore as it had been initially.  "He's never--with you I mean--"

            "Oh no."  Cecil shook his head, eyes widening.  "Gods, no.  He's been..." Cecil dropped his eyes.  "He's been good to me."

            "Dana and Rachelle told me," Carlos said. "I'm grateful, that he was here. To take care of you and to keep you from being lonely.  And--And I'm glad he makes you happy.  You deserve that Cecil."

            "You made me happy," Cecil insisted. He let out a shaky breath and several tears streaked down his face.  "Sorry," he croaked, wiping at his face impatiently. "I promised I wouldn't do this."

              "It's okay," Carlos said, enfolding him in his arms again, and pressing a chaste kiss against his forehead.  "It's okay."

            "I just--I just missed you so much. So much.  And everyone kept telling me that you were dead and that you weren't coming back and that I had to let you go.  And I love you so much and they told me...they told me that you would want me to move on."

            "They were right," Carlos said. "That's exactly what I would have wanted you to do."

            Cecil shook his head.  "You're the love of my life Carlos.  The center of my universe.  I can't just stop loving you."

            "I don't want you to," Carlos said. "I never stopped. For the years and years that I didn't even realize that were passing me by, I never stopped. But I am so grateful that you found happiness with someone.  That you were able to move on when you thought I was dead and continue living your life. That's all I would ever want, Cecil." 

            Cecil leaned against him, into him, resting his head against his chest.  Carlos held him.

            "It's just...it's not fair," Cecil finally whispered.

            "I know," Carlos said, stroking his head, his back.  Neither was sure how long they stayed like that, listening to the ticking of Dana's grandfather clock and the steady rhythm of their breathing.  Finally Cecil drew away. 

            "I better get going.  I still have the show to do."

            Carlos stood up and helped Cecil to his feet, holding his hand a little longer than he probably should have. Cecil turned to leave and Carlos impulsively pulled him back towards him, capturing his mouth again in another kiss. Gentle, this time, and tender, a lingering reminisce.

            Cecil stared at him, wide-eyed, as Carlos pulled back.  Carlos smiled and let his hand go.  "It was good to see you Cecil.  I missed you."       

            Cecil smiled back.  "I missed you too Carlos.  Welcome home."

            _Home_. Carlos thought as he watched Cecil leave. 

 

            Carlos left Dana's house but instead of returning to a lab full of strangers or his lonely apartment, he drove out to the Sand Wastes and sat out there for hours, sitting on the sand and leaning against the car.   

            He thought about many things. His life, his team, the Night Vale project.  Cecil, the desert otherworld and all the years that he had missed.   He thought about his options.  Rachelle was running his lab.  Cecil was married.  Carlos had wanted to come back home.  Now he wondered if things would have been better off if he had just stayed where he was. 

             He bit down on his lip when the self-pity grew and threatened to overwhelm him. He was a scientist. And he was back in Night Vale and there was sure as hell no lack of experiments to keep him busy. He could do this. He would be fine. A scientist is always fine.

            He finally got to his feet, back into the baked desert heat of the car and drove back into town.

 

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.


	3. Finding Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At long last, Carlos finds his home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

            Carlos tried to settle back into his normal life, burying himself in the endless experimentation and mysteries that Night Vale continued to offer; eating and sleeping when he could remember to do so.  Science had been a comfort, something to cling to in a world that was still so unfamiliar, but now it felt strange, somehow empty and cold.  He clung to it anyway.  It was all he had left.

            He made token efforts to socialize, joining the other scientists during mandatory Big Rico visits, and occasionally walking Rachelle home from the lab to say hello to Dana.  He found himself growing fond of Koharu, who was a biochemical engineering major, and often helped her out when she got stymied by Night Vale's blatant disregard of scientific laws.  He would listen to Cecil's show in the quiet of the lab after most of the students and scientists had gone home, letting his former lover's voice flow over his ears, another small private comfort wrapped in bittersweet nostalgia. His phantom memories of Cecil still haunted the corners of Carlos' apartment, but he found it easier to ignore when (usually) exhausted or (occasionally) drunk, so he made sure to work late on nights when he could get away with it.  Dana's due date was drawing nearer, which made it easy to escape Rachelle's notice. 

            One evening he was bent over a microscope, studying a sample of sand from the desert otherworld that Rachelle had taken from him the night he returned.  The sand found in Night Vale was primarily composed of the expected round quartz grains, but the composition of the sample that Rachelle had taken off him was similar to hydroxylapatite, which was found in bones...or teeth.  Teeth. Carlos remembered it peppering his skin and his face and felt his skin crawl.  God, he would never be able to shower enough. 

            A sharp knock on the lab door broke his concentration and he glanced up in surprise.  His back popped a few times as he eased back into a standing position, and a low pressure throbbing at the base of his skull was threatening to develop into a full-fledged headache.  Rubbing at the tight muscles in his neck, Carlos approached the lab door and punched in the code to unlock it, only belatedly realizing he hadn't checked to see who it was on the intercom. 

            Earl Harlan stood on the other side.

            "Hello Carlos."

            "Earl." Carlos nodded curtly.

            He looked uncomfortable, shifting awkwardly on the doorstep.  He was wearing black slacks and shirt, with something white slung over his shoulder and Carlos realized that he must have just gotten off work.  Dana had told him Earl was a cook at some fancy restaurant.

            "Listen, I know we got off to a bad start, and I'm sorry for how I acted.  I didn't understand the situation until later on."

            Carlos nodded.  "I'm sorry as well.  I didn't realize how long I had been gone."

            Earl nodded.  "I know.  So, I was wondering if we could compare notes?"

            "What kind of notes?"

            Earl looked around and leaned his body in closer, angling himself towards the slice of open door between them. "You're not the only one who was taken from Night Vale and had to fight your way out of another dimension." Earl's voice dropped, almost to a whisper.  "It's not something to talk about here.  But there is a place in the Sand Wastes where I used to take my troop camping. Very isolated." Earl shot a meaningful glance up at one of the SSP helicopters hovering over Night Vale City Hall, draped in it's black velvet covering. 

            "Sure thing Earl."

 

            Carlos could admit that he was a little suspicious of Earl's motive.  After all, he had been a seasoned Scoutmaster that was familiar with the Sand Wastes and survival tactics.  However, Carlos and his team of scientists had also hiked the Sand Wastes, even sitting up camps to collect samples from the local flora as well as recording and observing the odd phenomena that seemed to gravitate towards Night Vale.  In addition to that, Carlos had also observed the Giant Warriors setting up and taking down simple camps during their nomadic marches.

            Carlos was no scoutmaster but if Harlan thought he would struggle with basic camping skills, he was going to be in for a big surprise.

            Rachelle was most suspicious of Earl's motives. She didn't believe his weak excuse any more than Carlos did and implored him to keep his cell phone handy to check in as soon as he got back to city (and cell phone) limits.  Carlos reassured her by taking his danger meter with him. It was holding steady in the yellow as they hiked out into the Wastes and set up their tents in the shadow of the canyon wall.  Carlos assumed it was more due to the creatures currently hiding from the desert sun and the general danger always present in Night Vale more than any active malice from Earl.  Earl, for his part, was cooperative and patient, helping Carlos set up his tent and giving him pointers on how to position it to maximize shade and minimize damage from wind gusts. By the time they had gotten set up, the sun was at it's highest peak and they retreated to the shade of an overhang to snack on dried fruit and rehydrate.

            "Once the sun goes down, we'll make a fire," Earl told him.  "There is enough brush for fuel if you know where to look and even though we have matches, I'll show you how to start one even if you don't have any handy. It's a good skill to know."

            "Is this the kind of work you used to do with the Scouts?" Carlos asked.

            Earl nodded.

            "So why did you go into cooking?"

            "You mean why did I quit scouting?" Earl asked.

            Carlos shrugged. 

            "Cecil told me about what happened with the underground city under Lane 5," Earl responded. "After that, would you want to be a lane technician?"

            Carlos recalled the cold greasy knot of dread and fear he felt for a long time after the attack from the miniature city that had nearly killed him.  "I see your point."

            The silence stretched out, but it wasn't tense or uncomfortable.  Carlos was hesitant to break it, until his curiosity got the better of him.

            "So why did you really bring me out here?"

            Earl regarded him thoughtfully. There was no malice in his gaze, no challenge or threat.  He just looked curious. Like Carlos was a puzzle that he hadn't quite figured out yet.

            "I wanted to talk to you. Privately."

            "About Cecil."

            Earl nodded.  "He still loves you."

            Carlos glanced down at his hands. He wasn't sure how to respond, and found himself stroking the pad of his thumb over the back of his left ring finger, where Cecil and Earl had their wedding bands.

            "He married you," Carlos finally said.

            "Yes, he did.  When he thought you were dead and gone forever. I sometimes wonder how it would have ended up, if you had stayed.  Cecil has such an amazing capacity of love.  He can love so deeply, so fiercely."

            Carlos glanced up.  Earl was watching him, but his gaze was distant, wistful almost.

            "What do you want?" Carlos finally asked. Earl glanced back to him.

            "I want Cecil to be happy," Earl told him. "That's all I ever really want."

            "I want the same thing."

            Earl nodded.  "I'm glad we are in agreement then.  Cecil has not been happy for a while now, feeling torn between the way he used to feel and still does feel, towards you. And the way he currently feels towards me.  It distresses him, knowing that whatever he does, it hurts one of us."

            Carlos felt a weary sort of resignation settle over him.  Earl was going to ask him to leave Night Vale.  And right now, Carlos couldn't really help but agree with him.  It would be the best thing for Cecil if he were to leave again. Start over.  It would hurt, but for Cecil, he would do it. If it made him happy.

"So I may have a solution," Earl continued. 

            "Solution?" 

            Earl nodded.  "We know that Cecil loves you and me and that he has plenty of love.  Enough for both of us. If only loving one of us makes him unhappy, then why force him?"

            Carlos stared at him, eyes widening at the implication.

            "You want to _share_ him."

            Earl shrugged.  "It makes sense.  I have to be gone a lot of nights, working late at the restaurant. I have to be gone on holidays and weekends.  Cecil gets lonely. He doesn't say so, but I know he is. It would be good for someone to be there with him.  Have you found a place to live?"

            Carlos thought of his cold, empty studio above the lab and shook his head.

            "All the more reason to stay with us."

            Carlos could barely process what he was hearing. Traitorous hope was beginning to creep through his chest and he tried desperately to squelch it before it could take root and ruin him completely. 

            "You and Cecil are _married."_  

            "Yes."  Earl nodded.  "That will mean a little bit more paperwork and the usual bloodstone rituals but Cecil or I-"

            "Wait, wait."  Carlos held up a hand.  "Back up.  You want me to live with you. And your husband, who used to be my boyfriend.  Who I am still in love with."

            "Yes."

            "And share him."

            "Yes."

            "In what capacity?  Like as a friend or a roommate or-"

            "Well, that is up to you and him, I suppose," Earl replied.  "I assumed you would want to resume the same type of relationship that the two of you had when you left Night Vale."

            "We had a romantic relationship. A sexual relationship."

            "I am aware that the two of you were having sex, Carlos."

            Carlos blushed a little but kept on talking. "And that doesn't bother you? You don't feel threatened by that?"

            "I feel threatened by many things every day, but not this.  I think that Cecil needs both of us.  He has been afraid to even say your name around me.  He is afraid that if I think he wants you back, I will leave.  So no, I do not feel threatened by you and I don't want Cecil to feel that way either.  I don't want to wake up in the night to hear him crying and I don't want to wake him from nightmares about being abandoned.  He's terrified, of you leaving again, of me leaving.  He wants me and he wants you and I hate seeing him tearing himself apart over it."

            "And this is your solution?" Carlos asked.

            "If you and him are both okay with it...yes."

            "What did Cecil say about this?"

            Earl shook his head.  "I haven't asked him yet.  I didn't want to get his hopes up."

            _But getting mine up would be a fair trade off,_ Carlos thought wryly. He glanced at Earl and realized that the man was still waiting for an answer. 

            "I need to think about it."

            Earl nodded.  "Of course."

            "But I have some questions."

            Earl raised his eyebrows.  "About?"

            "You."

            "Fair enough.  Like what?"

            Carlos considered for a minute. "Do you snore?"

            Earl laughed.  They ended up talking most of the afternoon, Earl sharing stories about growing up with Cecil and Carlos reminiscing on things that they had done before he went through the old oak doors.  Over the remaining several days, Carlos found himself actually enjoying Earl's company. The other man was nearly unflappable, and would contentedly hike with Carlos as he explored petrographs and would teach him about any forms of the strange and unusual wildlife life that they came across.  Earl also showed him where to find water, how to start a fire and when the bright crescent of the Milky Way arched overhead, he showed Carlos new constellations and star patterns that Carlos had never seen before.  It reminded Carlos why he came to Night Vale in the first place, how it had lit the fire of curiosity that still burned in his mind.

            It wasn't until they were packed up and on the way back to town that Carlos brought it up. 

            "I'm willing to try it. But if and only if Cecil is okay with it."

            Earl nodded from his spot behind the steering wheel.  "We'll ask him.  I'll invite you over for dinner and we'll discuss it then."

            "And you are sure that you are okay with it?"

            "I wouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't okay with it Carlos," Earl said, then glanced at him briefly before returning his eyes to the road.  "I know plenty more than Cecil about the world outside of Night Vale, though probably not as much as you.  And I know that this type of arrangement would be strange elsewhere, but it won't be here. The City Council has several registered polyamorous couples in their records I'm sure, based on the facts that there are forms for it." 

            Knowing that there were registration forms for this kind of relationship was something Carlos drew comfort from. He was still considering the fact that something he once found disturbing was now comforting when his and Earl's phones dinged with missed calls and messages.

            "We must be back in city limits," Earl said.

            Carlos glanced at the multiple messages rolling across his screen.  "We need to stop by Night Vale General."

            Earl gave him a surprised look and grabbed his own phone, checking it briefly.  "Dana?"

            "Yeah."  Carlos grinned.  "She's delivered two healthy babies and is doing well."

           

            The hospital was already crowded with curious well-wishers, but Earl and Carlos were let inside Dana's private room by the SSP with hardly a glance.  When they arrived, Cecil was already there and Carlos' heart did a slow flip in his chest. It was still coated with the bittersweet sting that he felt whenever he saw the other man or heard Cecil's voice, but it was tempered slightly with the sweeter taste of hope and possibility, still cautious and fragile but there all the same.  Cecil was holding a small bundle in his arms and when he saw Earl and Carlos come in the room, his grin was brighter than any screaming sunrise. Rachelle was standing next to Dana's bed, holding another small sleeping baby.  Dana was resting against the pillows looking exhausted and content, giving Carlos a weak wave as he approached and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. 

            "How do you feel?" he asked.

            "Like I just gave birth to twins," she said, obviously too tired to be anything other than blunt.

            "Look, Carlos, isn't she gorgeous?" Rachelle said, placing the small bundle in his arms.  Carlos tried not to panic.  Was there a way you were supposed to hold them?  Something about the head?

            The baby was asleep, nestled in a white knit blanket.  She had Dana's dark skin and trademark curls.  "She looks just like you Dana," Carlos noticed. 

            "She'll be a knockout when she's older," Cecil added from his chair.  Earl was glancing at the baby he held over his shoulder.

            "What is her name?" Carlos asked.

            "That's Esme, and her brother over there is Harper.  And they are both perfect."  She reached forward and stroked Esme's cheek with her finger.  "I'm so glad you brought me here with you Carlos. I-I'm just--" She wiped at her cheeks with the heels of her hands, then folded both of them in a gentle, careful hug.  "I'm so glad you are here for this.  I'm so glad you are back."

            Carlos leaned into the hug gratefully. He saw Dana smile and say something to Cecil, and the way Earl kissed the top of his head with open affection.   

            "I'm glad too," he responded and felt like he might actually mean it this time.

               

           With Rachelle out of the lab for several weeks to take care of Dana and the babies, plus Earl's heavy schedule at Tourniquet, it was several weeks before they could organize a dinner date that worked with everyone's schedule.  When the invitation finally came, Carlos decided to leave Koharu in charge of the lab for the evening and Rachelle agreed to be on call in case of a Night Vale emergency.  

            Carlos stopped by Ralphs to pick up a bottle of wine and Cecil himself met him at the door when Carlos knocked. Cecil's face was quickly contained in a polite expression of friendliness but not before Carlos saw the odd mix of happiness and heartache that flared bright in his eyes for a moment.

            "Hey Carlos," Cecil said, sounding almost shy. 

            "Hey Cecil," Carlos said in return, offering him a smile and the bottle of wine.  He wasn't sure what kind it was, his unmodified Sumerian was poor at best despite the lab translator but Earl had mentioned Cecil liking it.

            Carlos followed Cecil inside. The familiar house, filled with bits and pieces of Cecil and Earl's life was still hard to look at, but he hoped that his life would be added in soon. 

            "Earl told me that he invited you over for dinner," Cecil said, leading Carlos down the hallway.  "I hope you like gumbo."

            "Sounds wonderful," Carlos said. The kitchen was awash in the smell of seafood and spices and Earl was at the stove, spooning rice onto plates.

            "Carlos.  Right on time," Earl said, pulling the lid off a large pot. When Cecil was busy wrestling open the bottle of wine, Earl gave Carlos a conspiratorial wink. Carlos felt himself relax slightly. Even if the plan fell through and Cecil rejected him, he still found a new friend and an unexpected ally, which was a comfort in and of itself. 

            Dinner was delicious and Carlos found himself watching the way Cecil and Earl interacted.  There were friendly and teasing towards each other, with an obvious affection stemming from years of familiarity.  Carlos liked seeing it, liked knowing it was there when Cecil needed it.     

            Cecil cleared off the table and while the dishes were soaking, Earl led Cecil to the couch, sitting next to him while Carlos settled himself on his other side.

            For the first time that night, the nervousness that Cecil had been trying so hard to hide became obviously apparent. Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and he took a deep pull of his wine.

            "Cecil, I wanted to invite Carlos over tonight so we could have a chance to talk," Earl started.

            Cecil shook his head.  The color had left his face again, leaving him looking similar to the night he discovered Carlos' return. 

            "No...Earl..." he whispered, his voice breaking.  "Earl, please, don't do this-" his voice cracked. 

            "Don't do what baby?" Earl asked, giving Carlos a concerned look.  Apparently this was not the reaction he was expecting. 

            "Don't leave me, please, don't--"

            "Shhh, Cecil, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere," Earl said, smoothing back a lock of hair with a reassuring smile. "I've talked to Carlos and we want to know what you think about him moving in with us."

            Cecil gaped for a moment, then turned to look at Carlos who nodded to confirm Earl's words.  Cecil turned back to Earl.  "I--I don't understand.  You're not leaving me?"

            "No, Ceec, I'm not going anywhere," Earl said.  "I love you. I know you love me and that you love Carlos.  We both want to make you happy."

            "We've talked about it," Carlos said, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.  "And, if you are okay, I would like to try this. I know that things are different now, and that you are different.  But my feelings right now are the same as they were when I went through that door. I want to get to know you again. I want to fall in love with you again."  He reached up with his free hand and touched Cecil's face, rubbing his thumb across his cheek. "We both love you Cecil. And, unless I'm wrong and tell me if I am, you love both of us."

            Cecil still looked terrified, but after an agonizing second, he met Carlos' gaze and nodded. 

            "Okay then."  Carlos couldn't keep the relieved smile off his face. "Scientifically speaking, when people are in love, they want to share their lives and their homes together. So Earl and I talked about it and if you are okay with it, and only if you are okay with it, we would like to share our lives with you and build a home together...with the three of us."

            "How would it work?" Cecil sounded less afraid, calmer and slightly amazed. 

            "It might not be easy, at first," Earl said.  "There may be jealousy and arguments, but we think we can make it work.  The important thing is, that we both love you and we both want to spend time with you. We'll need to talk about it, a lot, to make sure that we are all on the same page and to make sure everyone's needs are being met.  But we can do it."

            Cecil still looked cautious. "I must be dreaming again. This can't be real."

            "No, Cecil." Carlos took his hands, and Cecil turned to look at him.  "This is real. I am here and I love you. Earl is here and he loves you. We are both here and we both love you and we are not going anywhere."  Carlos moved in and kissed Cecil, a long lingering kiss before gently drawing back and meeting Cecil's gaze.  "Right here, Cecil.  And I'm not going anywhere."

            Cecil made a small choked sound, and then Carlos had his arms full of trembling radio host. Carlos leaned into the hug, feeling Earl's arms come around the both of them as well.

            Neat.     

                   

            While Carlos and Earl were both prepared to tackle any difficulties that arose after settling into their new living arrangements, it actually worked out better than either of them had expected.

            Date nights were common.  Both Carlos and Earl had jobs that would occasionally require them to work late.  On nights that Carlos would work late at the lab, Earl and Cecil would spend time together, and when Earl was scheduled to work closing shifts at Tourniquet, Carlos would make sure to be home at a reasonable hour.  It gave them both ample alone time with Cecil, while juggling their respective jobs and chores. 

            Carlos was worried that it might be awkward living with Cecil and Earl.  It was strange seeing the way Cecil's face would light up at the sight of another man, but the same expression also lit up Cecil's face whenever he saw Carlos as well, which was a welcome reassurance. 

            It also helped that both Cecil and Earl threw themselves into their new living arrangements whole-heartedly, with Cecil clearing out room for his lab coats and T-shirts in the closet and Earl helping Carlos set up a lab in the unfinished basement.

            Carlos was surprised by how quickly he found himself settling happily into the new routine.  He lived with Cecil and Earl, slept with them in their large bed, sometimes with Cecil clinging to him as if he was afraid that he would wake up and find him gone. He would wake up with them, have breakfast, help cook and do dishes.  It was very domestic and achingly intimate. 

            However, as far as their sexual relationship went, Cecil wanted to take things slow.  And Carlos was okay with that.  Cecil had respected his wishes to go slow when they started dating originally, and Carlos, who had at one time had resigned himself to a life without Cecil entirely, was more than happy to just talk to Cecil, listen to him and watch him and hold his hand. He could wait. And it was fun to take Cecil out on dates, to get to know him again and see how he had changed.

            So they went to the drive-in, out to eat, picnics in Mission Grove Park. They danced in the living room and made out in the car like horny teenagers. 

            One rainy day, Carlos recalled making a blanket fort with his brothers and sister during similar weather and had jokingly mentioned it to Cecil, who jumped on the idea.  Cecil had gone throughout the entire house, collecting sheets and blankets and pillows while Carlos moved furniture, pushing the couch back against the dining room table and scattering the chairs around the room.  He showed Cecil how to anchor sheets and then drape them over chairs, banisters and mantelpieces, creating a low-ceiling sprawling structure that covered most of the living room.

            "This is so cool!" Cecil said with a grin, sprawling on the pillows and couch cushions scattered inside the fort.  "It reminds me of when Earl and I went camping in Scouts."

            "Did you do that a lot?"

            "Yeah, a few times a year." Cecil glanced at Carlos. "What do we do now?"

            Carlos knew very well what he would like to do but settled for a brief but fierce tickling match that devolved into making out on the floor.  Later on, he started teaching Cecil how to play cards and watched him binge on sweets.

            "You're going to get sick," Carlos warned, teasingly poking him in the stomach before coming in for a kiss.  It was an old habit, Cecil’s fondness for candy, and the sticky sweet nature of his kisses still synced up perfectly with Carlos' old memories. 

            When the inevitable sugar crash hit, Cecil cuddled into Carlos while Carlos read to him. _Heart of Darkness_ wasn't his idea of a romantic read, but the words flowed out with an eerie poeticness and Carlos was happy to just savor the feeling of having Cecil's weight against his body, his arms around his waist again.

            Cecil had eventually fallen asleep with his head on Carlos' chest but Carlos continued to read, his free hand stroking Cecil's hair or rubbing his back.  He heard Earl's key click in the lock when he came home from his shift at Tourniquet, and his confused voice a few moments later.

             "Cecil? Carlos?"

            There was a shift over at the "door" of the fort, which was just a small opening in the sheets supported by a couch cushion, as Earl peeked in.

            "Hey," Carlos said.

            Earl looked around the inside of the fort, looking mildly confused. 

            "Can I come in?  Or is this private?"

            "No, no, come in," Carlos invited. Earl crept in, making sure not to disturb any of the surrounding structures, and settled cross-legged next to Carlos and Cecil. 

            "I--uh--I was telling Cecil about building these kind of forts when I was little and he wanted to try it."

            "It's cool," Earl said. "Is he asleep?"

            "Yeah.  I was reading to him and he just dozed off."

            Earl smiled at Cecil fondly, and stroked his back, the same way Carlos was earlier.  Strangely, the gesture didn't make him feel jealous or even mildly possessive.

            "So how is the whole cohabing thing working out for you?" Earl asked.  "I know you had some reservations."

            "Honestly, I like it," Carlos admitted. "I mean, there was a point where I never thought I would get to have this, with Cecil, again. And I actually like the fact that there is someone here when I'm not so he doesn't have to be alone so often. I--I watch the two of you sometimes, and I see how in love with you he is.  And that's nice too.  Cecil deserves to be surrounded by people who love him."    

            "He is.  Two of them," Earl said, bending down to press a chaste kiss against Cecil's shoulder.  "Do you think we should try to get him to bed?"

            "Probably," Carlos admitted. His back was already feeling tense and sore.  He hitched Cecil's legs up around his waist and gently eased up in to a sitting position with Earl's help.

            "Cecil, sweetheart?" Carlos shook his shoulder gently.  "We're going to bed now, okay?"

            Cecil mumbled something into his shoulder but refused to move off his lap.  Carlos rolled his eyes.  "Okay, put your arms around my neck then."

            Cecil draped his arms around his neck and Carlos tightened one arm around Cecil's waist and let Earl help him to his feet. Earl moved to hold the sheet out of the way as Carlos maneuvered out of the fort, then helped steady Carlos as he made his way up the stairs with Cecil in his arms. 

            Cecil mumbled something about Earl into Carlos' shoulder.  "Earl's home baby. He's right here. And we're going to put you into our nice soft bed and we're both going to hold you all night to make sure you're warm and safe."

            Carlos deposited Cecil on the bed and stripped him down to his undershirt and boxers, quickly doing the same while Earl changed out of his work uniform and brushed his teeth.  Carlos cuddled up against Cecil's back as Earl flopped into bed on Cecil's other side, leaning forward to kiss him and tucking himself up against Cecil's chest.

            "Night baby."

            Cecil gave a sleepy, mumbling assent. Earl smiled.  "Good night Carlos."

            Carlos pressed his lips into the texture of Cecil's hair.  "Good night Earl."

            He was home.  

 

~END~

    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, look at this. I actually finished something. Thanks for reading.


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